Bag the Poop

28. August 2011 by PawBill.

Over the years I have owned several dog and I have loved them all.  Well, maybe not my last dog. Daisy was different and while I hated to see her go there had to be a parting of the way. She was a purebred dachshund without the idiosyncrasy of a dachshund.  If you have ever owned a dog of this breed you will understand. Most dachshunds with short hair like to sleep under a blanket and cuddle next to you. Daisy did not like to do either and to top it off she had extremely big teeth for a dog her size. To make matters worse she disliked my wife. I believe it had something to do with her position, the dog’s position, in the pack—she was an “extreme alpha female” and wanted to dominate “her” pack.   

I live in a metropolitan area and I do not know whether there is an ordinance that requires dog owners to clean up their doggy poop or not.  It appears that everyone is doing it so if there is not an ordinance maybe it has become an accepted practice dog owners have imposed upon themselves.  Too bad cigarettes smokers cannot “police their own butts” as they would say in the military. It would make for a cleaner environment.

We owned Daisy before the time of this doggie cleanup “madness.”  Dog owners (or dog walkers) now carry plastic grocery or Ziploc bags with them when they take their pet for a walk.  When their dog has a bowel movement (a poop), the walker removes a bag from his/her pocket and graciously bends, with head turned to one side, down and picks up the poop using what I refer to as the “Bag the Poop” procedure. Whoever came up with this method was quite creative. Apparently it has been approved by PETA because all dog owners are using this technique.  

Let me describe the process to you. After a dog poops, the dog walker inserts their hand into a plastic bag; it is like putting on a glove. They then reach down and grab the poop with their covered hand. Caution! If you try this at home be sure to use bags that are in good condition. To complete the procedure the bag is then pulled down and over the poop.  Just like magic the poop is now in the bag and if done correctly the hand remains clean.  The final step is to zip the bag closed if it is a Ziploc, tie the bag with a twisty if it is a plastic bag or simply twirl, loop and pull the end through the loop if there is no twisty and presto you have completed a sterile “Bag the Poop.” I do not know what the procedure would be if the dog was having a “diarrhea day.” However, let’s not go there. I have never performed the procedure myself and I never intend to, but it looks fairly simple. 

I ask my wife to try this procedure the last time our toilet was stopped up but she refused.  Jokingly I said, “It’s not my poop.” Seeing the daggers in my wife’s eyes I tried to say, “I am just joking” but the words came too slowly out of my mouth.  It was too late as I apparently struck a nerve! Before the fight started I quickly apologized all the while mumbling to myself that I should stop joking around when there were serious issues to solve. 

With all the dog walkers bagging their dog’s poop it makes for cleaner sidewalks and yards.  There is nothing worse than stepping in dog poop especially if you are wearing new tennis shoes with all those deep treads and groves.  Since I no longer own a dog I am all for a Bag the Poop ordinance to be implement nationwide.  It is bound to be an environmental platform old Al can grasp and support.

But now, “Houston, we have a problem.”  The weather has been extremely hot recently in my part of the country, and I have not been doing a lot of walking.  Yesterday the weather was cool and pleasant, and I decided to go for a walk and enjoy the outdoors.  As I walked down the side walk I began to see, to my utter dismay and disgust, bags of poop that had been discarded behind bushes and trees.  Not just one or two but many; I counted ten bags in just a thirty minute walk. 

So what’s the problem you may ask? Lawn crews and even some homeowners now have to collect and dispose of plastic bags of dog poop left by selfish dog walkers or dog owners which again begs the question: Why do some leave their mess for someone else to clean up? Lawn crews and landfills will have to raise their rates if the trend continues with more and more bags of poop being left on other people’s property. Disgusting!

Why can’t “Bag the Poop” imitators, and that is what they are, not carry their own dog’s poop home with them especially since they have already done the nasty part?  Maybe some only bag when other people might be watching so as to be approvingly considered “environmentally green.” Poop does “return to nature” but plastic STAYS WITH US FOR YEARS so disposal remains a consideration.

So who are these people who leave their bags behind the bushes and shrubs on other people’s property?  I do not know as they do their dastardly deeds clandestinely in the dark wee hours of the night; otherwise they would be noticed and challenged.  Is it just laziness or what?  They all have outside garbage collection cans but who knows; maybe they use other people’s garbage cans or Wal-Mart store dumpsters. 

There have always been a few who feel they are above the rest; you see them every day breaking in front of others, parking in handicap spots without a sticker, throwing trash on the streets, demanding their right to be obscene and vulgar and etc.  But now, it appears that the few are becoming the many and the many are becoming the few.  Which one are you or which one do you want to be?

As I ponder about this it occurs to me that America’s social, economic and political problems are problems of integrity, the lack thereof to be specific. When dishonesty, self centered greed and corruption are not condemned all of society suffers. But, what can you expect from a people who no longer feel the Ten Commandments are not worthy of being displayed or taught? In other words, we are becoming a nation of imitation “poop baggers” who are leaving their mess for future generations to solve. Unfortunately, it is now past time to clean up America’s financial woes but like preceding generations of political party loyalists, party affiliations cannot be overcome for the good of the country.

For the politicians of America, the old Proverb rings true: “As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly” Proverbs 26:11 NIV.  In other words, no matter what our politicians promise, they cannot refrain from returning to immorality, greed and corruption when they perceive no one is watching. The same is true for too many of the rest of us…we know we need to remove the foul leavings but it’s easy to just “bag and toss.”

When politicians and the moral majority will not stand up and speak out to defend the moral and religious values that made this country great, and also made this country the envy of the world, America’s slide into the abyss is a certainty. But why not, most Americans who profess a belief in God will not stand or speak out. Our representatives do reflect America’s “new” values so it should be no surprise that government has become what it is. As the new saying goes, “It is what it is.”

Let’s see, where did I hang my “snow” shovel?  My representatives are about to speak, and there may be “poop” to shovel and bag.

Comments to: bt@northloopcottage.com

Visit: www.twitter.com/closetchristian 

Copyright © 2008-2011 by: North Loop Cottage LLC / NorthLoopCottage.com / TheIndwelling.org.  All rights reserved

Scripture quotations marked KJV are taken from the King James Version of the Bible. (Public Domain); NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984 International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Posted in Political, About America, Man Gone Wild! | No Comments »